I heard someone described as a "no-nonsense kind of guy".
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) May 26, 2020
I'm more of an all-nonsense kind of guy.
Bluffoonery: Faking it till everyone works out you're an idiot.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) June 10, 2017
I bet Thousand Island dressing would be cheaper if they got it from only 950 islands. #businessideas #yourewelcome
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) December 6, 2014
Today's horrible discovery: urinal cakes not actual cakes. 😖
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) April 4, 2016
Having a family is like having your own little cult. At least that's what my 17 mums taught me.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) January 1, 2015
Hammerhead, Tiger, Bronze Whaler, Wobbegong; Just aligning my sharkras.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) November 26, 2012
“Birds do it,
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) May 4, 2020
Bees do it,
Even educated fleas do it…”
Who's teaching these fleas and what is their curriculum like?
The Dodge Ram is a great choice if you want to drive an oxymoron.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) February 21, 2021
Laugh tracks: Ha or nah?
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) December 12, 2018
Hey public service health ads: It's not disgusting fat building up around my organs, it's more of a delicious batter.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) August 19, 2014
Anything is a collector's item if you bother to collect it.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) November 4, 2014
Spring is nature's sexy time.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) September 26, 2014
I'm sorry Fujitsu, Australia's favourite air is still actual air.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) August 1, 2014
Results may be prone to exaggeration. pic.twitter.com/iL0zuqzG2W
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) February 23, 2017
Parenting a 4-year-old boy mostly involves the tousling of hair.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) September 17, 2016
I don't often wear light coloured pants, but when I do you can guarantee splashback from the sink will land right in the crotch.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) December 21, 2014
Tartare sauce is just up itself mayonnaise. Don't get ahead of yourself, tartare sauce.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) September 12, 2017
New Ridley Scott film or breaking news? pic.twitter.com/VPFWthP6NX
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) March 19, 2019
Looked into my family tree and realised it was just a series of bad roots.
— Dan Forrestal (@WorkingClassDan) April 13, 2020