On Sunday morning the Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews announced that a raft of restrictions put in place to restrain the coronavirus were to be lifted. From midnight changes were to be introduced around how many people can visit private dwellings and gather inside places of business, plus face masks were to no longer be mandatory outside.
But one rule for Victorians which remained unchanged was the rule around wearing a constant mask of detached smugness.
After having guided the state to three weeks of zero new cases of COVID-19, Mr Andrews announced the measures with his own mask of smugness firmly in place.
"Now more than ever, we need to get back to what makes Victoria great. Our sporting events, our arts, and our epic levels of smugness. I intend to stay the course," said the Premier standing firm.
The mask, long considered mandatory for all Victorians, is said to have been arisen due to a number of unique factors including cultural elitism, sporting events, Melbourne's live music scene and, for some reason, coffee.
Speaking after the premier, Chief Health Officer Brett Sutton spoke behind his own mask of detached smugness of why the rule was to stay. "Victoria is made up of a unique cross-section of social groups with high concentrations of hipsters, privileged progressives and outright douchenozzles. It makes us more predisposed to smug than other parts of the country."
The measures were not universally lauded. A small group of anti-smug protestors from the group, ANTISMU, gathered yesterday to fight against the masks. Police quickly quelled the protestors by reminding them of Melbourne's amazing laneway street art. Smugness was soon returned to normal levels.
While the state government was taking credit for the effectiveness of the smugness mask, its widespread adoption was perfected under the Kennett government.