The Family Draft

As you know, this week marks the start of the trade period. 

For this family to make it to the top, to move up the ladder to where we deserve to be, we need to be prepared to make some tough choices, and to trade aggressively to build the team to take us forwards. 

No one gets anywhere without making sacrifices and we may not be able to keep all of you on our list.  

Our plan is to be smart and patient. Some families want their kids to grow up faster than is naturally possible. We won’t resort to the tactics like that family from Essendon. Those parents claim to not even know what they were feeding their mob. (The little monsters are no doubt going to have problems later in life.)

Over this period we may look to expand our playing group by drafting fresh talent. Some of you could be sidelined or let go into the national draft. Now is the period to take a good long hard look at yourself. I’m sure you’ll accept this assessment as the professionals you are.

William, you had an eye-catching rookie season. Babies always do. Your ball work was exemplary and your trademark blue booties have become a favourite with the fans. But you won’t be able to crawl under the radar next year, the opposition won’t cut you any slack. Being cute has got you this far but now the opposition know your tricks and you’ll have to come up with some fresh moves to stay ahead of the fresh wave of cute rookies and still be a prolific ball winner in 2014. 

Charlotte, you’ve played with a rare determination until long past your bedtime. We’ve encouraged you to use your natural flair to your advantage. Sometimes you’ve given your all until you were overtired and cried like a little girl. But I don’t need to remind you you’re now a veteran of five years. You should be hitting your prime. Reading, writing, showing some talent that will net us millions. (Have you even auditioned for X-Factor?) Frankly, you have been all talk so far. It’s time to put the score on the board. You haven’t reached your potential and that makes you attractive trade bait. Other families will be looking to bolster their list with a mature age recruit. Who knows? We might even get a first round pick for you. It’d also free up room in the salary cap letting us target a big name player - who wouldn’t want that Franklin kid on their roster? 

Admittedly, restricted free agency could have serious ramifications for us. We may not be able to maintain the services of everyone we want. Our little club doesn’t have masses of extra cash to throw at the playing group. And I’m well aware we don’t have the profile and prestige of say the Hawthorns or the Collingwoods with their huge homes. I expect some of you will be tempted to look at what is on offer elsewhere in search of greater opportunity and more game time. If you’re looking for extra pocket money and are lured by that cashed up family of losers from Greater Western Sydney, then I say, “Go, we don’t need you”. 

We can’t promise you the big bucks, but know this: we are building towards the big one. That’s right - a movie trip, maybe even with a choc top. On that one afternoon in September, depending on what’s showing, you could be holding aloft the cup (filled with the beverage of your choice). 

We still have high hopes for you and we’re moulding you as a playing group. Each and every member of our team is vital to our chances. Because we’re not a family of champions, we’re a champion family. (Except for the ones who don’t make the grade.) 

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